Thursday 29 December 2011

From Thailand to Burma

Ok, so we come to the ferry trip across from Koh Samui to Koh Phangnan, lovely and smooth, 1 hour, quite enjoyed it as I stayed inside and played Angry Birds to take my mind off the sea! Then the trip took a turn for the worse as we left Phangan to reach our final destination: Koh Tao. The next 1.5 hours was pure hell of being tossed to and fro, diving in and out of the waves and smashing into them. Jimbo was on the top deck and I wondered why he didn't come down to be with me on the less swaying level - I later found out that it was because he couldn't stand up as the boat was swaying so violently. There were people being sick and over time I got quite upset as I couldn't see Koh Tao appearing in the distance and wondered if we were going to make it. Thankfully I managed to keep my lunch down but only just! When I finally met back up with Jimbo after the boat docked, he looked green and this is the man that'd laughed at the force 10 gale we'd sailed in on our trip to St. Malo years ago! 



Our lovely hosts who owned the 2 villas we'd be staying in were at the port to meet us and told us that the waves were higher than the previous week when the ferry had sailed in 3 metre high waves and they'd been on it and they'd felt really ill. THey chucked my enormously heavy, big and pink suitcase in the back of the taxi driver 'Mr Bear' pick up truck and Jim got in the back with some other guests while I got inside the cab with Mr. Bear. I didn't want any more fun that day thank you very much. The roads are very rugged on Koh Tao with only the main road which runs North/South being made of cement so Jimbo and the others had to hang on for dear life, especially when we went up what will be from henceforth known as 'THE HILL OF MENTAL STRENGTH'. Now I have measured this hill with my iphone spirit level and it's 45degrees steep, for 80metres! Now they do have a moped that you can use to get up and down and into Sairee town, but bearing in mind at the bottom is a rugged track and no street lights and then when in town, no road rules, Westerners bombing around and Thais mopedding slowly it's a recipe for disaster! So we've walked up and down this hill twice a day now and will have done for 21 days by the time we leave and boy am I fit. We take our torches out at night and the Thais we pass on the way who walk too (who think we're mad as we're the only Western people who walk) say hello. We get to see the water buffalo and laugh as they wander across the road on a rope and it pulls tight and it becomes a trip wire for mopeds and trail bikes and we also get to hear the frog chorus in the swampy bit at the bottom of the hill. This hill should actually replace the hill in the film 'The Hill' which is a mere mole hill! I think this hill could break a Paratrooper after just 2 days! 



Anyway, onto our villa. Amazing doesn't do it justice and we've been lucky as we've got to stay in both villa 1 and 2 as I asked to move so i'm more secluded and can walk around 'as nature intended'. We have a balcony which overlooks Sairee and an infinity pool. A media centre with over 1500 movies on it, wifi and more than anything, peace. Absolute peace and quiet, bar my singing. As the villa backs onto the jungle we have a lots of visitors in our villa: geeks (plus huge mama & papa geeks that made me jump), a snake in the bathroom, huge spiders, moths, squirrels, frogs and bats. So if you don't like wildlife, forget it. The only animal I don't like is the bastard Mosquito. For some reason they love me, but that love is not reciprocated, so at night instead of smelling of my Penhaligons Lily & Spice, I smell of Deet. I think Jimbos getting used to his eyes watering whenever I come near as the lemon smell wafting off me gets into his eyes, lol.



Anyway, our days consist of getting up late, opening the curtains on an amazing view. Jimbo cleaning the pool (why do all men want to do this job, yet you can never get them to pick up a hoover), meandering (down the hill) into Sairee town for a thai soup, lazing in a beach bar, having a swim in the sea and then grabbing some late lunch. This lunch then fuels us to get back up 'the hill' and into our pool to cool off. We then watch a movie catch up with our frailly via Skype and head back down into Sairee for dinner. Their is an abundance of great, cheap food here from fresh fish and obviously Thai food to pizzas and burgers for those who want some crap to eat. There's street food stalls which do lovely skewers and we nearly always end an evening by visiting the 'pancake man' who makes them with such frivolity that people just watch him work and cheer when he lobs his banana skins over his stall and into the bucket on the other side - he never misses! All the beach bars have fire dancers and people let off chinese lanterns, some crash and burn, some sail off into the distance but it seems that whatever you're enjoying doing, someone else is watching and joins in too, which I love. The sense of community here is fantastic. It's a divers heaven and although i'm not diving as visibility is low at this time of year, the area is supposed to be the best for diving in Thailand. We haven't really explored but we're going to get a water taxi boat to another bay on the island tomorrow and i'm sure we'll end up enjoying fresh coconut juice straight from the coconut with the top cut off and lovely food wherever we go. 



Christmas Day was weird, enjoying it in the sun. Jimbo and I had put a limit on a £10 spend on each other and we didn't come close to spending that on each other as everything is so cheap here. We opened our presents and went down for lunch at a restaurant that was doing a buffet. We had turkey and all the trimmings, seafood including salmon, giant mussels and prawns and amazing cheesecake and chocolate cake for pudding. The lights went out as usual in this restaurant and everyone cheered and Ed the owner took a bow and said he'd made it happen specifically. It was a fantastic lunch and we were stuffed, as is obligatory on Christmas Day. We passed the lady boys who advertise their club by standing at a cross roads on a walk way that everyone passes trhough at some point during their night. They were all dressed up in santa outfits and trying to sing Jingle Bells, which wan't exactly the best way to advertise their cabaret events, but they were even more jolly than normal and having their photos taken with everyone which they love - such show offs.



During our time here we have been working on a small project with the general worker for the villas we're staying in. His name is Yu. He is 35, Burmese and earns just £7 a day. That is more than the average worker gets on Koh Tao and much more than he could possibly hope to get in Burma. He sends most of the money home to his family who still live in Burma who have no light in their home. By home, do not take this to mean bricks and mortar like the houses that you and I live in, I mean corrugated iron shacks. However, he is very proud of his family and speaks often of them with love. Now Yu wants and is capable of lighting his house and also that of his small village but does not have the money to buy the things he needs. He wants to do this by solar/wind power so he is self sustainable. Now Jimbo has been researching how to do this (he has the knowledge) and is buying him books on how to do this and I am working on getting him the things he needs to be able to have light and power. If you, or someone you know has any of the following (second hand things are not a problem), can donate or provide at an extremely low cost, then you will be doing an incredible thing. If you couldn't turn on the light when it got dark at night, what would you do? What would you do if you couldn't charge your computer or phone up to read this blog? All Yu wants is 1 light bulb and 1 electrical socket in his house which will in turn show others in his village that his idea can be achieved. Surely WE can help him to achieve this!

List of things needed:

Solar panel or solar cells so he can build his own panel
Soldering irons
Electricity cable
Invertor
Hand tools (no electricity to charge electrical ones up)
Solder
Light bulb sockets
Light bulbs
Light switches
Plug sockets
Cable tacks

Anything that is small and easily postable to Thailand and then cartable to Burma.


I haven't put a list of all the things we need as car batteries are obviously gonna cost a fortune to ship. If you can supply anything than please email me here so we can take it further: french-maid69@hotmail.co.uk

Alternatively you can catch up with my latest shenanigans on my website: laralatex.com Over the Christmas period I am having huge fun with Anna Joy and Kai Taylor in one of my most enjoyable scenes to date. I get to lick pussy and get fucked by Kais huge cock, fantastic!

Happy New Year x









Sunday 4 December 2011

Lost awards and Christmas in the Sun

Well hello! It's been a while since i've written a blog. Since my last one i've had my birthday and want to thank everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday.

I've also now finished filming my Television X series and completed the editing for it. Thank to Jimbo for making a fantastic title sequence, which isn't the normal porno type of titles. You'll have to watch out for it (Laras Men in Uniform) in the New Year. My final 2 shows were the mechanics and then the Tommies from WWII. The mechanics was filmed on a really cold day inside a huge garage which was freezing! I had the pleasure of Demetri XXX and Seth Strong, both looked great with their bulging biceps and greased up vests and overalls. We certainly got warmed up with all the shagging we were doing that we had to go outside to cool down! Then we went to Devon to film the last of the shows - The Tommies. The uniforms and the acting in this scene from Kai Taylor and Andy Mann was exceptional. We were staying in a house that I had read had a ghost that turned up at 3am every night and rattled the kitchen door - the story being that someone had been shot and this is the first house he had stumbled across when looking for help, but no one was at home. Now this freaked me out totally but Jimbo and I decided not to tell the guys, who were going to be sleeping in the room downstairs near the kitchen, in case they got freaked out too. So next morning after asking how they'd both slept, Andy said that he'd slept terribly after waking up to hear the kitchen door rattling and, even worse, someone shuffling around in the kitchen……………………..waaah! After we'd finished filming, Jimbo and I packed up the car and we were outta there! No way were we going to stay another night there, especially when it was miles from another house.

I have enjoyed working with every single person in this series and loved being shagged senseless across Europe, so make sure you watch out for it - Laras Men in Uniforms - coming on Television X in The New Year.

Then there were the UKAP awards (UK Adult Producers) which were held in London on November 26th. Unfortunately JimSlip and I were too ill to go as we got the lurgy during our hectic filming schedule. I was nominated for an award 'Best gonzo/reality series' with my series for TVX, Laras Anal Adventures. I was up against some tough competition from Ben Dover for Playboy, Liselle Bailey for Television X and other good names. But…………I WON! YES!!! My 3rd award this year, I was really shocked but thrilled to have won. Kai Tylor picked up the award for me and Jimbo and also he won his own award too! We would like to thank him for doing so, not thanking him for then leaving them on his way home in Burger King Waterloo. Then re-thanking him and being eternally grateful to the kind Burger King employee who found and then hid them in the safe until they were retrieved by Kai again. I am astonished they weren't stolen! This is the 3rd of my awards this year, so it's 3 out of 3 for me after also winning Most Loved Character - The SHAFTAS and Pornstar/Escort of the Year - The Erotic Awards. I'm extremely proud of the work JimSlip and I do and we both love our jobs, so it's nice to have some recognition.

Now its less than a week until JimSlip and I depart for Thailand for a whole, yes whole month. When you're all shopping in the cold, feeling harassed and forgetting the girlfriends mothers present (she'll never forgive you), we will be lazing on a beach, or maybe admiring the view from our infinity pool in our private villa. Well this is what I hope will be happening and I have my fingers crossed it doesn't snow in the UK so our plane can take off. Jimbo and I have never been to Thailand and I cant wait. It looks great on youtube and I think i've already rekkied every bar/shop/crap tourist attraction within 10 miles of the first hotel we're staying in.


I nearly forgot to mention, check out 1 of only 3 scenes I have filmed with my husband in 12 years of working together on my website: laralatex.com this is a rare opportunity to see us fucking each other and also see JimSlip actually out of his suit - yes I know some of you thought he was born in it!

Anyway, I hope to blog again before the festivities, but if I don't, please have a wonderful Christmas and New Year.


xx


MY 3 SHAFTA, UKAP & EROTIC AWARDS



View in Devon, Brrr - Cold!


Monday 14 November 2011

From Doctors and Nurses to an Air Hostess and her Captain

Well, as usual i'm writing this blog on board a Malev flight back to London after a hugely successful and hectic trip to Budapest. In my last blog i left you after i'd just completed 1 of scenes and 2 of JimSlips scenes. Well this week I filmed 2 more scenes for my Televsion X series - Laras Men in Uniforms. I had the use of an amazing hospital location on Tuesday for my Doctors and nurses scene. It's set like the television show 'Young Doctors' from the late 70's/80's. I was nurse Lara in a traditional blue uniform, bursting out of it in some sexy pink Agent Provocateur underwear with high patent heels and black seamed stockings. I seduce the doctor and consultant and even the patient laying in the bed (cheesy I know, but so funny and he had a huge cock and it's my show so nerr)!!! This featured big names Coky Ice, Max Payne and Dexter. Then on Thursday I filmed all my intros for each show so it was full on glamorous makeup and a sexy red dress with seamed stockings. You can't go wrong with seamed stockings thats what I say! 

On Friday we (Jimbo, Frank, Kristina (my makeup girl and I) went to a lovely and trendy apartment to film my pilot scene. I was his sexy air hostess - much more sexy than Ryanair or Easyjet! We were using one of the most well known studs in Europe, David Perry. He's filmed 1000's of scenes for the biggest companies, flown all over the World and now, finally he got to have me!  We hit it off from the start and I can let you know that this French man certainly likes his ladies enjoying themselves. Even the workmen next door downed tools to listen in on my performance, hahaha! Frank Thring was in full swing with his full renditions on 'Leaving on a Jet Plane'. He was most happy with this, as he couldn't think of any hospital songs on Tuesday for my doctors and nurses scene.

This week I have also seen TinTin the movie which I wasn't that impressed with, especially after having read all the books when I was a child. Also, I went to see Tower Heist. I actually really enjoyed it despite all the rubbish reviews it's had over in America. I thought Eddie Murphy wasn"t used to his full potential, but the (SPOILER ALERT) getting the Ferrari out of the apartment and down via the lift sequence was funny. Especially when they're on top of the lift holding it up straight. Then being a car nut, Jimbo and I sat after the movie working out the weight of a Ferrari 250 GTO made out of Gold. Needless to say it wood have been an implausible manoeuvre, but I just needed to know. 

Also i've watched 2 movies on itunes. One is Precious and the other i'm still watching is Finding Nemo. Yes, I like a wide range of films and also I love my music as a lot of you know. This week i've downloaded Roy Orbison, Dusty Springfield and then some Deadmau5. I'm loving Dusty and finding some classic 'old but new to me' songs, especially 'I close my eyes and count to ten'. It's a shame it's under 3 minutes long, but then a lot of the songs were short then. Now I consider anything less than 5 minutes a 'jingle'! lol

So, i'm back to Blighty and have 2 more Television X scenes to film. Then a mammoth editing mission to finish before my adventure to Thailand in December. Before this are 2 more important events. MY BIRTHDAY on the 19th November and also i'll be signing at Erotica on the Strictly Broadband stand between 11am and 4pm on the 20th November. So if you're there, come and say hi, grab an autograph or photo, it's always great to meet my fans. 

There is also a new update on my website: laralatex.com It features me and the lovely Linda. We're both dressed up in uniforms and of course some lovely shiny fully-fashioned stockings. I'm in another air hostess outfit  and Linda in a Sailor dress - Ahoy There! I do like cock but every once in a while, I need to do some minge munching and she had a lovely one to munch upon, so check it out!!!!

Have a good week! 





Saturday 29 October 2011

Louboutins, Last Escort Tour of the Year and my next Television X series

About a week ago I did some webcam with Paige Turnah. If you've never seen us on webcam then you get 1 hell of a show. We're both filthy little minxes and no matter how often we work together, we still manage to top our previous meeting. We both have conflicting schedules until next year, so our next show will be in January. I'll let you know the dates when we've organised a date. For those who'd like to know where you can see us on webcam then i'm here: LARA LATEX WEBCAM SHOWS

It was time foo another shopping trip with the delightful Paige last week. On the list was another pair of Laboutins and some Rigby & Peller underwear for me and some Laboutins, A Mulberry handbag and also some Rigby & Peller underwear for Paige. The good news is that we managed to fulfil our shopping needs. The even better news for you guys is that my boobs (having been surveyed by The Queens own cleavage estimators) is that I am not a 34D, I am a 32E!!! Well I was rather shocked, but happily so that I have gone up. It must be awful to go into there and find out that you'd massively over-estimated your boob size and that you had lemons instead of melons! hahaha

I still have 1 item on my must have list and for this I now have to go online seeing as Harrods don't have them in stock. This is a white shirt from Aquascutum and i've wanted it for a couple of months now. It's just impossible to find it, which means not many women will have it (if you know me then you know I like limited edition items). Maybe I should put it on my wishlist as it is my birthday in less than a month, but I don't think they sell it on Amazon - MY WISHLIST

After being shopping out for a while, I had to put my producer head on and start preparing for my Television X show, Laras Men In Uniforms. I'm in the final process of confirming locations, the studs (amazing talent lined up) and also the crew. I have 2 brilliant locations lined up and I can't wait to don my outfits and get started. I can't give you any more information that that right now as it's TOP SECRET but with the infinite wisdom and craziness of Jim Slip & Frank Thring it will be sensational. I'll let you know more on here when we're filming, but to keep up to date with my shenanigans.

I'm in Budapest at the moment and the weather is gorgeous. They're about to have a holiday for 2 days after the weekend, but we don't stop for such things here at The House of Slip. We're filming a b/g/g and a b/g scene on Tuesday and Wednesday. I don't know how he'll manage the gorgeous Bibi and Avril together but i'll have the smelling salts handy. 

To let you all know i'm at Erotica on Sunday 20th November. It's the day after my birthday so make sure you come and say hi and give me a birthday kiss if you come along. I'm working on the Strictly Broadband stand from 11am-4pm with Paige (my partner in crime) and we'll be having fun playing nake twister and giving out some goodies too.

My last tour dates of the year are up for escorting. I'll be up in London from 28th November-2nd December in Spitalfields. So make sure you come and give yourself the Christmas present you really want instead of socks/pants/jumpers/cd's* (*delete as appropriate). Click here for more details.

Also my last bit of news is that the biggest cock i've ever fucked on screen is my latest update on www.LaraLatex.com. His name was Warren and his appendage is humungous! You'll have to watch it to see if I can squeeze him in and for how long but needless to say I needed a cushion and a horse to feel comfortable when sitting for the next few days. 

Have fun!

Monday 17 October 2011

Touring, Webcam & Mulberry Handbags

Firstly, HOORAH! My blog is back. Thank you to those who helped me.

Anyway, heres last weeks news:
I had a wonderful time meeting all my clients on tour on the week just gone. I had a couple of duos with Paige Turnah which is always great fun especially when we get to share a big cock. We love putting our arses up in the air and letting the guy choose who he wants to fuck and when. We always dress in seamed fully fashioned stockings  and high heels which means we are impossibly tall, but hey who cares, that more leg for you guys to worship.  I  love receiving gifts (what girl doesn't) and 1 of my regulars came bearing honey! No not to smear over me, but for me to eat. Ok so you're thinking honey is not such a big deal but it is when it comes from the bees you keep in your garden!! How cool is that, such posh pets and they look after themselves and produce wonderful honey for me to eat…everyone should have them!

So this weekend I have been up to some DIY with JimSlip. We've been drilling holes all over our flat to put up mirrors - 1 was 8ft by 4ft - drop them on our feet, put in raw plugs only to find the holes not deep enough, you know the usual kind of DIY that happens all over the country on a Sunday.

Next week I have a lot of running around to prior to our trip to Budapest to shoot my Laras Men In Uniforms. I'm looking forward to it. Getting 2 cocks in 5 shows = 10 cocks, bring it on!  I'm planning on lots sexy outfits that women just love seeing men in. Its going to be good. 


Right I have my Roast pork in the oven, all my paperwork is sorted, i'm just gonna look around the internet at Mulberry handbags and Laboutin shoes as i'm off back into London on Friday with Paige to help her buy her first Mulberry handbag (its a girl thing).

x

Monday 3 October 2011

From London to Venus & Back

First of all big apologies for not blogging in ages. I've just been uber busy, all culminating in the weekend that's just gone at the Venus erotic fair in Berlin.

After I went home to Surrey on the Friday, I had to do the usual washing and general girls stuff and then I showed Jimbo the Louboutins. They got a very big thumbs up from him! On Saturday, Jimbo and I decided to go to Loch Fyne in Cobham which is one of my favourite fish restaurants. Consistently good quality and the staff are lovely. Unfortunately this time my smoked haddock risotto was on the semolina looking side and badly overcooked. They did change it, but as i'd picked all the fish out of the first risotto I didn't want another so i had another dish (bummer)!! hehehehe

Then on Sunday I got dropped off at the train station for a 5 hour marathon train journey to Bolton. This became rather exciting for me when I got to go on a Virgin pendolino train for the first time. I do like it when it goes round the corners and it tips upwards! Although the air-conditioning was off in our carriage and trying to negotiate my huge suitcase to another carriage just wasn't on the cards, so big fail for that Virgin. I had a solo modelling job the next day and I decided to go up early and take some escorting bookings. To all those who came to see me, you gave me a great Northern welcome. I will not be going up North for the forseeable future though, it really was a one off event. I have no plans to tour anywhere else in the UK either apart from my monthly London tours. The modelling job went extremely well, I was a sexy secretary and I also wore my lovely girly pink dress with fluffy underskirt. I rarely do glamour shoots and I had a lot of fun especially as I had a lovely sexy girl camerawoman to pose in front of. If anyone else would like to book me for photographic modelling then please email me with your enquiries: french-maid69@hotmail.co.uk

While I was in Bolton I got a call from one of the porn studs - Andy Mann, asking me if I was free on the Tuesday to do a b/g scene. I thought why not? It also meant I got to see Manchester, or as they say it Man-chess-taaaaaa! I got taken to The Curry Mile and also had a sightseeing tour around the city. Its much bigger than I thought and it's true, everyone is much friendlier 'oop North'. It was lovely and sunny that day - which is unusual North of Watford so I lapped it up. After watching a film called Rounders with Matt Damon I popped off to bed and woke up early in preparation for my shoot with Andy. He's a lovely guy and our shoot involved me dressed again as a sexy secretary. I know which job I should go into if I ever leave pornoland!! lol We finished our shoot in record time a I had to get the train back to Surrey and pack as I was due to leave the country the next morning with Jimbo to go to Berlin.



Talk about jetting around at the moment. As long as my knickers, suspenders and stockings are all in order, i'm ok to leave at a moments notice. So it was at a dark 6am that Jimbo packed our suitcases in the car to go to Heathrow Terminal 5 for an 11am flight. Yes you heard that right Jimbo had planned for it to take 5 hours to get between junction 9 on the M25 to Heathrow, junction 14. WTF!!!! I went along with the plan, as often it can be a car park at that time of the morning. You can rest easy, if was a safe bet that it was a breeze to get there and we had a lovely 4 hour wait before the flight took off. It was my first time at Terminal 5 and I found it a bit pants really. It's not well thought out, I can predict bottle necks at certain security points and no free WIFI?!? So many of the airports I travel from in Europe have free wifi, loads of plug sockets for charging so many of things that we travel with now, that need to charged and also usb ports. The only thing that Terminal 5 has going for it is the shops. I almost creamed myself when I saw a tax free Tiffany, Gucci and my mecca…….Mulberry. I didn't purchase anything and I was a good girl. I had to be as the next 5 days I had to be a bad girl. I was heading to Berlin with Jimbo to join the rest of the UKAP (UK Adult Producers) guys and girls who had a stand at the Venus Berlin show. This is a massive show, like Erotica which contains everything to do with sex, all under 1 roof. I was handing out promotional cards for my website and also signing and having photos taken with fans. Many of these fans have travelled the world just to say hello. I think the furthest someone had travelled was from Singapore, which is amazing! After the show had finished, there were many parties and a lot of drinking to be done. I don't drink, so it's great fun for me to watch people get progressively worse for wear and not realise their behaviour is soo funny. Of course when they reach a certain point - and it almost always coincides with the DJ playing The Macarena - then i'm outta there! So after 4 days of fun and frolics with other British ladies Tanya, Tracey and Cookie, we were all promo'd out until Erotica; which happens to be over my birthday weekend in November!

On the last day (which is today-Monday 3rd October) Jimbo and I decided to go on a sight-seeing tour around Berlin. We'd already stumbled upon the Brandenburg Gate where we found a sound stage erected and ELO performing a sound check earlier on in the week; so we decided to find some other monuments. I love German military history and wanted to visit The Reichstag but we were both so tired form the long days at the show, that we decided to visit Check Point Charlie. I've visited this before but today is the day that in 1989, The Berlin Wall came down and was even more profound. The horror of having 2 occupying forces in another country was over. People today, all over Berlin and Germany were moving freely between what was considered 'East and West', something that after talking to a Berliner, they do not take for granted. Yet that is something that I do take for granted. Freedom to go where I want and when I want. It was very humbling and informative to go back into the Check Point Charlie museum and see what lengths that people would go to, to cross from East to West. Squashing into the actual seat of a mini, building the biggest hot air balloon made, make their own flying machines to hiding women in 2 suitcases joined together and put on train luggage racks! It will certainly make me think when I'm off on one of my jaunts. Which actually takes me to my next jaunt. I'm writing this blog as usual on a flight, the flightback into Heathrow Terminal 5 and I have a bet with Jimbo that the female Captain lands like a feather on a Tempur mattress!!!

The rest of this week sees me filming 3 JimSlip scenes with UK babes and tomorrow and Wednesday i'm sorting out all my paperwork, oh joy! Next week i'll be up in London on tour from Monday 10th-Thursday 13th October so why don't you come and join me.

In the meantime there's another update on www.laralatex.com for you to enjoy. I find a trucker who's broken down in the services and ask him back to my apartment to wait for the tow truck. Make sure you check it out!